Whores wear rouge. Ladies pinch.

I don't like make-up. I don't like the way it makes my skin feel, I don't like the way it comes off on my clothes or drinking glasses, I don't even like the way it looks. I can never find my skin tone, even among "true blend" or "adjustable" products, so I end up looking way too dark or way too light. I know there are more expensive brands that (supposedly) feel great, never rub off, and make you look like a supermodel - I'm just not willing to pay for them. And I resent the fact that, as a woman, I am expected to wear make-up to look professional.

The thing is, I don't really care how I look - you can't make a silk purse out of sow's ear, and all that. But if I came to work with blotchy skin and dark circles under my eyes, it would be completely distracting. While I was telling my patients about their risk for birth defects, they would be wondering to themselves if whatever I was dying of was contagious.

Even so, I have to subvert the process somehow. My weapon of choice is eyeshadow. I don' t use eyeliner or mascara, but I love painting my eyelids different colors. Even though my coloring makes it hard to find foundation, I can wear just about any shade of eyeshadow I want. Or, at least, I think I can. I really like matching my eyeshadow to my outfit, though I suspect that's a fashion faux pas. Right now I'm wearing dark gray slacks and a light gray sweater, so my eyeshadow is silver. I apply it lightly, so as not to blind my patients with sparkles, but still. Silver. That makes me happy.