Mar 11, 2009

Whores wear rouge. Ladies pinch.

I don't like make-up. I don't like the way it makes my skin feel, I don't like the way it comes off on my clothes or drinking glasses, I don't even like the way it looks. I can never find my skin tone, even among "true blend" or "adjustable" products, so I end up looking way too dark or way too light. I know there are more expensive brands that (supposedly) feel great, never rub off, and make you look like a supermodel - I'm just not willing to pay for them. And I resent the fact that, as a woman, I am expected to wear make-up to look professional.

The thing is, I don't really care how I look - you can't make a silk purse out of sow's ear, and all that. But if I came to work with blotchy skin and dark circles under my eyes, it would be completely distracting. While I was telling my patients about their risk for birth defects, they would be wondering to themselves if whatever I was dying of was contagious.

Even so, I have to subvert the process somehow. My weapon of choice is eyeshadow. I don' t use eyeliner or mascara, but I love painting my eyelids different colors. Even though my coloring makes it hard to find foundation, I can wear just about any shade of eyeshadow I want. Or, at least, I think I can. I really like matching my eyeshadow to my outfit, though I suspect that's a fashion faux pas. Right now I'm wearing dark gray slacks and a light gray sweater, so my eyeshadow is silver. I apply it lightly, so as not to blind my patients with sparkles, but still. Silver. That makes me happy.


Kells said...

You're funny! I enjoyed reading this post, it popped out at me with the title. My grandma used to pinch better than anyone(when she was getting us back for pinching each other.) You should try bare minerals makeup. I'm not good at wearing makeup either and they make it pretty easy. I got a $60 kit at Sephora and it had everything I needed (brushes and makeup included). I never watched the instructional video and no one can ever tell I have on makeup yet I don't look like I just rolled out of bed.

Monkey Sri said...

Thanks for the comment! I actually use one of the Bare Mineral knock-offs that have popped up. Maybe someday I'll make the switch to the good stuff ;)

Brandi said...

haaa then I know what I'm getting you for your birthday this yr woman.... miss you siss

Monkey Sri said...

Thanks for the comment, Bran Flakes :D