Jun 26, 2008

Not that you noticed. Or cared.

FV went on vacation. Sri was left alone with the work of two counselors. Some of Sri and FV's coworkers ... well. It's enough to drive an oftentimes sane young woman to refer to herself in the third person.

But the ones who are really suffering are the children blogs. I have fallen into a funk and am unable to summon my usual comedic genius. For that, I am truly sorry. The few witticisms left at my disposal is being poured into emails and face-to-face communication. While this is not an efficient method for the dispersal of quips, I find that it is necessary to maintain my reputation as a well-respected socialite and philanthropist (please, someone, get the Bruce Wayne reference and realize that I'm comparing myself to Batman).

But you know what they say - misery loves company. And so I bring you...

Disturbing Things I Know

If you were born at the end of October, your parents were probably doing it on Valentine's. If you were due to be a Christmas baby, like me, you were conceived around April Fool's Day.

10% of paternity is "other than reported." Think of your nine closest friend - if they look like their dads, it might be you.

Not only do we share 99% of our genes with chimps - we also share the majority of our genes with bananas.

There really is such a thing as a mouse genetically engineered to grow a human ear on its back:

Behold!

What's that? You're going to be sick? Funny, I feel much better.

*whistles*

2 comments:

kinkydork said...

my favorite semi-disturbing/amusing fact related to this post is that people born in the first week or so of october's parents were doing it on new year's eve. in fact, october 5 is the most common birthday for that reason. i love when i meet someone born around that date so i can be like, "haha! i know when you were conceived!"

also, i cannot think of you as batman, since i want to do batman (the current christian bale version) a lot.

Monkey Sri said...

Genetic counselors have a little thing called a "pregnancy wheel" we use to figure these things out. According to my wheel, a Probable Conception date of Jan 1st gives a Estimated Delivery of mid to late September... You may want to check your source, just so you're not laughing in the wrong people's faces.

I didn't say I was Batman, just that I'm like him. I deal with Jokers all day (yuk yuk yuk).