Apr 10, 2008

Quite a sticky wicket

Yesterday, Wistar and I went for a stroll in the park to complain about our love lives ... as one does.

Me: I hate the Indian matrimonial website. It feels so artificial! I don't want to screen potential partners based on a set of pre-determined criteria.
Wistar: Foolish girl, that's exactly what the dating scene is - you're just cutting out the middle man, i.e. well-meaning friends who set you up on dates. Er, sorry about that, by the way.
Me: Hmph. Still, the internet thing still creeps me out. Would it be so much to ask to have a large group of attractive young Indian men fall into my lap?

And then, a large group of attractive Indian men fell into our laps. We had stumbled upon a pick-up game of cricket. The Britannica Concise Encyclopedia describes cricket thusly:
Game played by two teams with a ball and bat on a large field centring on two wickets. Each wicket is two sets of three sticks. The teams have 11 players each. A bowler from the defending team throws the ball (with a straight-arm overhand delivery), attempting to hit the wicket, which is one of several ways the batsman may be put out. The team batting fields two batsman at a time, and the batsman being bowled to (the striker) tries to hit the ball away from the wicket. If the batsman hits the ball away from the wicket but has no time to run to the opposite wicket, he need not run; play will resume with another bowl. After a hit, when possible, the striker and the second batsman (the nonstriker) at the other wicket change places. Each time both batsmen can reach the opposite wicket, one run is scored. The batsmen may continue to cross back and forth between the wickets, earning an additional run for each time both reach the opposite side. Matches are divided into innings consisting of one turn at bat for each team; depending on pregame agreement, a match may consist of either one or two innings.

I included this description in case any of those young men read my blog - because clearly they had no idea how the game is played. Their confused milling-about made the baseball game going on in the next field over seem positively riveting. In their defense, cricket is not the most exciting sport to begin with. ABC announcer Tony Benneworth once commented, "It's been a very slow and dull day... It's been a good day's cricket." But Wistar and I stopped anyway, to leer at the young men and giggle behind our hands. Then I realized that they were probably all undergrads and became slightly sketched out. Oh, and one of them mooned us.

Indian boy: *drops trou*
Me: Oh my god, avert your eyes!
Wistar: He's just adjusting his jock strap. Why are you so upset?
Me: Why are you not averting your eyes?!?
Wistar: Hm, pink briefs were a bold choice.
Me: I think I'm going to be sick.

I've come to the conclusion that my dissatisfaction with Indian matrimonial searches has nothing to do with the website itself. The simple fact of the matter is, boys are icky. I think I'll become a hermit. Or a cricket commentator.
Brian Johnston, BBC: The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey. *helpless giggles*


Wistar said...

See! Aren't things more exciting when you let me run your social life? I have a great underpants radar.

Monkey Sri said...

I just realized that three of my last five posts are about you. *sigh* I need to get out more.

Debachu said...

May I pop my head in to say, although I can offer no insights on Indian matrimonial angst, your blog makes me laugh -- but not at you. With you. Definitely with you. (you are laughing, right?)

Monkey Sri said...

Thanks! And yes, I am laughing. If I ever stop, please have someone check for a pulse.